like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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