I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
