my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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