Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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