ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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