You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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