"it" just moved
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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