Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
