discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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