Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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