So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
