A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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