Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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