how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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