i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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