I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
