tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
only you would photoshop your dick
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I currently don't understand fingers.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
