I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
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I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯