Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
