Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
