I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
