I will die if light touches me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
