just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
