we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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