Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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