im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
