can we get nightvision for the apartment?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
