Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
