So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
