drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm passing your future prison.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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