he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
50% drunk capacity currently
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
