No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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