my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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