the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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