I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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