I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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