No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
