she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
