You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
