So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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