everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
