Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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