There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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