You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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