how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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