So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
