He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
