Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
