Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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