I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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