Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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