wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
