hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
