I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
