what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Randomize
