Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
