Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
